Tuesday, December 04, 2007

The Greatest Gift

I received an email from a dear friend of mine. He asked a bunch of us to answer two questions. 1st: "What was the greatest gift you have ever received?"
2nd: "Why?"
I didn't even hesitate and I thought I would share with the rest of you the thoughts I sent to Ken.

The greatest gift I ever received was the gift of Forgiveness. I grew up in a very religious family. Always doing the right thing. Never did I drink, do drugs or be immoral. I was always the savior of everyone. I was the good girl, the returned missionary, the Young Woman leader. And yet I never really learned the true meaning of the atonement. I knew about it, I could teach it but never realized the power of it. In my late 20's I started dating a lot, wanting to be loved yet not loving myself. Loosing the spirit until eventually making a poor choice. That once spiritual woman I was, had become the sinner I never thought I would be. The sinner I had helped on my mission, the sinner I prayed for in my youth and the sinner I read about in the scriptures. I was that sinner. I chose the world and everything in it. What I was doing was wrong, I knew it and I was tearing my soul apart. The pain of my guilt was of the most exquisite degree. And then, when I was at the point that I wished the I could become extinct, body and soul a light, growing inside me had come to save me. Wonder Woman I thought I was yet defeated by Satan I had become. From the midst of this self-inflicted damnation, I remembered the teachings of my Father and Mother. I cried out in the anguish of my soul, "O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me" (Alma 36:18) No sooner had I thought this did my soul begin to beat. I knew that the Lord was the only way for me to feel whole again. I knew where to turn for peace I knew I had to return to the blanket of Love that warmed my soul. Scared and humble I gathered myself and return home to the loving arms of my parents. Court was set, punishment announced, and my repentance sure. Nine months I labored (literally) spiritual and physical mending. My pain and guilt were swept away and replaced with the exquisite and sweet joy. The intensity of my repentance caused me to experience a mighty change of heart. I was "born again". Through the miracle of birth and the miracle of Christ and the Atonement I had become whole again. I have married in the temple, sealed to my children and have a strong testimony and understanding of the Atonement. I have Sinned, I have repented and I have been forgiven. The spirit is again in my life and I received a miracle, the miracle of forgiveness.

I hope that we all understand that He is there, waiting to forgive us...waiting to love us..waiting to guide us home.

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