This last week my heart seems so sentimental. Whether its looking at baby pictures of my girls. Remembering their first cries, laughs, crawls, walks and runs. Hanging out on a Saturday with family just so our puppies can play together. Understanding the pleasure of knowing that my family will be together for ever. Taking care of my sick husband and praying so hard that he get better soon because Its hard to do things without him. Stumbling upon my old mission pictures and journals and remember what faith I had so many years ago. Finding lost love in a letter. Or maybe its realizing just how special true friends ship is. All so sentimental to me.
In all my life I have come to know and love 3 best friends. OH don't get me wrong, I have many friends. All just as close and dear to my heart. But, I have 3 that I can truly call best. The first is my best friend Jill. I was watching an episode of Sex in the City where the lead, Carrie Bradshaw, was moving to Paris to be with the "love of her life". And leaving behind 3 special friends. I couldn't help but cry as they said their good-bye. I too, lost a friend to love. My sweet friend Jill left the big city of Salt Lake to be with the Love of her life in the Romantic???? City of Dover Delaware.
Even though Dover has no Efel tower, no Gaston Leroux, and Palais des papes. They do speak a different language, Play Rugby and have they yummiest Delaware Blue Crab. As I watched this episode I missed my friend so much. I remember the phone call I received about 2 weeks after she got to Delaware. I believe it was over washing dishes we talked. She had said how different it was there. She was home sick and she was telling me how different everything was. Their ways were different even how they drove was different. I remember wanting to cry and begging her to come home...but I knew that I lost to her love. Dover was and is where she should be. Now so many years later, Jill has fit right into the Life of Delaware. She has picked up the Language, the culture, the beauty of Dover. Even starting her own business in which I am so proud of her. Do I still miss my friend?? TERRIBLY. But I want her to be happy more. I know that I can still call her when I need a shoulder to cry on, or if she needs to pick out the proper color for her store sign or when we just need to talk to someone that understands all my weird ways. I miss our long talks, our eating outs, bowling and people watching. Besos mi amiga"la". I miss you!
My other best friend is my sweet and loving husband. I often think of what my life would have been like if I just stayed a single mom and tried to do everything for Gracie. What would happen if I didn't get married..if I didn't meet Blake. The thought makes my tummy hurt. I couldn't even think of not having him in my life. (Nor Emily and Lilly.) Not having him get up in the middle of the night to get the baby a bottle so I can sleep even when we both worked the next day. He is my best friend. I tell him EVERYTHING. I talk to him 10 times a day. I miss him when he is gone and I can't wait for him to get home. I know I haven't been the greatest and happiest of wives. I am so thankful for his Love and Patience. He hasn't giving up on me and I hope he never does. I am sorry you have been so sick, honey. I love you, my love. You are my best friend.
Last week, my mom was diagnosed with Breast cancer.
Last week my life turned in a different direction. My mom, my very first best friend, having to have such a scary disease. The very thoughts i couldn't help go through my mind was, "What if I lost her to this." The tears seem to stream down my face more freely. I couldn't even fathom that thought of not having my mom in my life. My Daughter is named after her, I pattern (or at least i try) my life after hers. To have her faith, love and devotion to the Savior. My mom is so giving to everyone. I remember one time when I was very young probably 7...and I wanted a pair of knickers in the store (yes knickers) . At the time my parents couldn't afford such luxurious. So my mom stayed up all night and made me a pair with a matching vest mind you. It was rust colored. And the selfish child I was said to her in the morning, "I don't like this color...I wanted turquoise" That day has often haunted me. How could I be so selfish??? I have apologized since then. She doesn't even remember..but I forever will. She stayed up all night for me...to make me happy. My mom was always sacrificing. She would eat cold dinner because she was always serving her children and husband. I am grateful for her unconditional love. When I sat and told my parents of the poor choices I made and that I was going to have a baby my mom just loved me. Just loved me..!! She was there at nearly every doctor apt. She was there to cut the cord and she was the first to hold Marjorie Gracie. She was such a strength to me while I went through my repentance and she was there to pick me up when I just couldn't make it. How blessed I am to have my mom. She saw come back to the gospel, saw me get married in the temple, she saw Blake adopt Gracie and later be all sealed together in the temple. My life without my mom would not be much of a life. I asked her how she feels about this Cancer stuff and she says, "It's in the Lords hands." What faith. If I could be half the mom she is I would be the best Mom ever. I love you mom. My prayers are with you. Thanks for everything.
Lilly always loves to get in the middle of the doggie Pile.
Wilbur with his one Blue eye and one Black eye..what a cutie..He is tired.
Lilly with all 4 dogs: Clyde (red collar) Roxie (purple) Wilbur (all white) and
This is how the puppies played most of the day. (Clyde, Wilbur and Ali)
WWF Puppy Smackdown
Lilly and Abbie Playing
They were getting pretty tired until they saw mommy just laying there.
Lilly looking cool with her aunt Kristi
Clyde, Roxie and Wilbur
No shoe scootering (is that a word?) She gets the no shoe thing from her mom
Clyde, Wilbur and Ali
Clyde, Wilbur and Ali
